You worked up the courage to ask her out and she said yes! Nice job dude, that’s awesome! But there’s still a possibly crippling problem… and that’s where to go on a first date?
It’s an insidious problem and you’ll notice just thinking about can create knots in your stomach. You’ll realize that having that kind of nervousness isn’t attractive because it keeps you from being able to confidently talk to people and it KILLS your chances of having a successful date.
STOP that feeling in its tracks and START replacing it with a feeling of supreme confidence about where to go on a first date right NOW.
Because after reading this article you’re going to have that confidence about where to take a woman on a date 🙂
Where NOT to Go
If you ask society about what makes a great date you’ll get all kinds of answers, usually centered around doing something fun.
Something like…
- A rousing game of mini-golf
- Bowling
- Dinner and a movie
- Or just straight asking her over to your place
Beware, because all of those have their own issues. But why is that? Those things can definitely be fun to do with friends, and even with a girlfriend. So what makes them so terrible for a first date?
Why Typical Places Lead to Loveless Lives
The reason that activity dates (bowling, mini-golf and etc.) don’t work is because you want the women in your life to date you for you. Not to use you for a fun thing to do only to dump you immediately after.
And you need to be able to talk to a woman to get to know her.
But there’s also another insidious problem you might not think about at first. That’s the problem that a woman might want to see you, but would say no because of not wanting to do whatever activity she’s offered.
While it doesn’t happen often, especially if a woman is into you, but it does happen. After that, you’ve lost her forever.
In that case she may end up cancelling not because she didn’t like you, but because she didn’t feel like doing whatever.
But What About The Old Standby?
Dinner and a movie are easy, so they should work, right?
Wrong.
Unfortunately, the movie part of the date doesn’t work because you can’t talk to women during a movie. Or… I guess you can but it’d be awkward and you would probably get thrown out…
But what about the dinner part? You can talk to women during dinner.
Which you can, however the horrific truth of taking women to dinner is that:
- It can be expensive
- And Foodie Calls are now a thing…
- It’s a short, but eye-opening article where a lot of women admit to using men for free meals (how many aren’t admitting to it?) They have no interest in the man, but only want to use him for a meal and then move on with her life
Which means that food is definitely off of the table as is the movie option.
- Quick note: if a woman demands that you take her to dinner and refuses anything else then delete her from your life, block her on your phone and move onto the next woman. That woman wants to use you and throw you away like trash. Women who want to see you for you don’t care much or at all about where you go
What About Inviting Her Over For a Night of Passion?
As great as it would be to just have her come straight over to your place that has its own toxic issues. Unfortunately, if you live in western society you have to protect yourself from the ludicrous lawsuits that loom around every corner.
Trust me when I tell you that even if you get lucky and get it in, you don’t want things to go sideways.
I’ve had women come straight over before and had it go extremely right. But then you get that one time where things don’t go right and shit hits the fan putting your entire life in jeopardy.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy yourself with a woman, but it does mean that you have to be a little careful out there.
But now the problem is where to go on a first date now?
What’s Left and Where to Go on a First Date?
Boring dates, that’s what.
Stuff like coffee, drinks or even a walk in a park.
The date itself is boring; but at the same time, it follows the cardinal rules of where to go on a first date:
- It’s cheap for both of you. Some women will offer to pay which means in this case it’ll be cheap for her too
- It allows you to talk and get to know each other (click here to develop a deep and powerful voice)
- Because the date is boring you will know that she’s there for you. Otherwise she wouldn’t be there
- It’s low pressure. If you don’t like each other you can just get up and leave
- It’s low pressure. If you end up really liking each other you can just get up and leave 😉
The Unbeatable Boring Date
Instead of asking a woman out to do something fun with you what you’ll do instead is ask a woman out to a blissfully boring date. On a boring date there’s only one single thing to do:.
Get to know each other.
Because it’s a boring date you’ll know that she’s there to spend time with you and get to know you better. Not trying to catch a free meal.
What’s more: because it’s a boring and cheap date, you don’t run into any of the who-will-pay problems that other dates can have.
Because it’s a cheap date of only a couple bucks it’s not that big a deal if you or her pays. It’s no big deal, and that’s sexy because it takes the pressure off of both you and her.
She doesn’t feel weird about if you’re going to pay or ask her to pay. It also takes pressure off of you because you don’t have to worry about it either.
It’s easy to pay for an extra cup of coffee.
This frees up your mind to focus on other things, like how to seduce this beautiful woman sitting across from you. While avoiding the devastating mistakes other guys make on dates.
Don’t throw away all of your hard work after getting her out on a date with you. Keep things simple so you can focus on what’s important.
What is Important?
You and her having a great time getting to know each other and building a connection, that’s what’s important.
Because if you don’t have a plan in place…
If You Fail to Plan You Plan to Fail
It’s an overused cliche for a reason!
While you don’t want to have an awe-inspiring game plan that would make the Spartans jealous; you do want a basic plan. That’s because you’ll need to leave room for flexibility.
Because you will want to be able to take things to the next step if that becomes a possibility, whatever that next step is. But you should have some general plans in place for your date.
Examples:
What if the date goes badly?
Then you should have an exit strategy.
What if the date goes just okay?
Same deal, you need an exit strategy that will end, leaving her pining for more.
Or on the other hand you could have another possibility in your back pocket that will help you turn the date from the danger zone into the kinky zone.
But what if you have an amazing date? What then? Because if you have a great date with a woman you should have a plan in place that allows you to either:
- End the date gracefully so that she’s excited to see you again, but not so excited that she ends up talking herself out of it later
- Or have a plan in place that will allow you to easily transition into you taking her to bed
But why is having a plan in place for an amazing date necessary?
Because if you have an amazing date she might get disappointed that you didn’t take her as your lover.
If that happens she will get mad and not want to see you again. It’s one of those weird things that happens as you start to level up your skills with women.
The thing I’ve heard get quoted ad nauseam is “It wasn’t in the cards”. Or “I really liked him and wanted him, but clearly it wasn’t fate”.
The reason this happens could be one of several things:
She could be so excited that she then gets too nervous to see you then decide not to see you because she doesn’t want you to think poorly of her.
Remember, women aren’t as risk taking as men (as a general rule, there are always exceptions). Even us men will sometimes become too nervous to talk to a woman for fear of rejection.
I’ve been there before and I know a lot of other people that have been to. It’s natural.
Women can feel the same way. They get so excited that they psych themselves out for the silliest of reasons. Perhaps they’re having a bad hair day, so they can’t see you when you want to.
Then life gets in the way. Maybe they’re on their period or even her dog just died. Then life gets in the way.
Life can get in the way a frighteningly and frustratingly, enormous amount of times when it comes to women.
There’s also the other possibility that somebody else takes her to bed before you get the chance. Then suddenly she decides to start dating him instead.
Or maybe it really was some cosmic superpower called fate taking a special interest in you and her. And out of billions of people on the planet it comes between you and her.
Color me skeptical though…
The possibilities are endless, but the moral of the story is that you need to have a loose plan in place for different scenarios. All while always keeping your eyes on whatever your goal is.
Simple Common Examples
To put it simply; there are roughly three different ways a date can go and a simple plan of action to go with it. It can be…
- A bad date
- A way to either salvage it or escape from it
- An okay date
- A way to turn up the heat or at least end strong so she will be thrilled to hear from you again
- An amazing date
- A way to get her from point A to point B[ed] or how to release the pressure. Release the pressure sot that she won’t get silly and cancel the date out of liking you too much or blaming it all on the cosmos
Where to Go on a First Date: Have Backups
Always have backup options.
Why?
Because if a date is just going okay, or is bad and you want to try and save it, you can go somewhere else with her.
Whenever people experience different places with each other they associate more memories with that person. Thus making them more comfortable and willing to open up.
Which, if she hasn’t been then this could help you get the sexual juices flowing from her after getting her to open up more.
But, that’s not the only reason…
What if she wants to go somewhere else, or even if one of the places you take her to is closed or crowded?
If that’s the case, you can swoop in and save the day/date and possibly turn a disaster into a sexy story for later! Thus snatching victory from the jaws of the universe stepping between you and this hottie!
Without having backup places in mind then she may start to get frustrated with her own date location choice (of it was yours, be frustrated with you in an ugly way).
Once that happens she will transfer those feelings back to you.
This is called anchoring.
The short version is this: people associate feelings they feel in the moment to the people they are with and the places they are in.
Which, in the no-plan situation means that she will start to feel bad about the date choice and then associate those feelings to you. Completely killing the date and your chances of seeing each other again.
The other reason is because you want to have girls move around with you, as touched upon earlier.
If you have a single date but you go to a few different places you will make the bond stronger between you. This is especially helpful if you need to ramp up the fire between you on the date.
The reason is because even though it’s only a single date she will have experienced more places with you. In other words, more experiences with you. This causes her feel to like you know each other better.
A better connection between you can also steal girls away from this mystical fate nonsense. More so when you clearly liked each other 😉
Keep things simple but have a loose plan at the ready, keep things cheap, have a few places in mind and take the pressure off of the both of you.
And Keep Moving Forward
-Alexander