What to Text a Girl and When7 minute read

You’ve gotten her number and perhaps gone even further with her. But there are still those pesky and irritating issues like what to text a girl and when should you actually text her back!

In this short post, we’ll go over some common scenarios about when and what you should text a woman back to maximize your chances with her.

Keep in mind that this is not an end-all-be-all. These are just some common guidelines for common situations to help get you started when deciding when and what to text a girl you like, especially if you’re asking yourself “should I text her” at all!

Just Met Her

If you’re wondering what to text a girl you just met realize that you’ve got options. If you work it into the conversation right it’s perfectly fine to text her when she’s in front of you. 

However, in most cases, you’ll want to wait a few hours or until later that night. That could mean a few hours later to just a half hour later, depending on how late it already is. Basically, you want to text her back once you’ve gotten home, or had time to get comfortable and begin winding down for the day (if later in the day). 

If you met her early on in the day, then just wait a few hours and get back to her in the afternoon. 

What to Text A Girl You Just Met

Keep it simple here. If you’re still in conversation then just text her your name and that’s it. That’s what to text a girl you just met while still in front of her, if that’s the route (but there’s a better option). 

But, if you’re getting back to her later in the day, just text her that it was nice to meet her and then your name at the end. Also, you need to reference something in your conversation with her. Example: “hope you ace your exam”.

You’re not trying to get fancy here, just keep it simple and chill. Feel free to throw in a smiley face if it fits your style. 

Just Got Her Number Through Online Dating

Text her immediately.

The reason for this is because you haven’t set up the date yet, and if you’re following my advice then you still need to keep the conversation going. The free part of the course also goes into what to text a girl after getting her number through online dating, but here is some general information now:

What to Text A Girl You Met Through Online Dating

The first text is your name and possibly where you’re from. Example: Alexander from Tinder 🙂

The reason for this is because this should be a natural continuation of the conversation. That’s why it’s such a boring text, it’s a simple icebreaker.

After Setting Up The First Date

Once the date is set up you’ll typically want to avoid texting her before the date. But, there are a few exceptions, as long as you’re choosing great date locations.

The first exception is on the day of the date. What you’ll want to do is wait until a few hours before the date, or even around noon the day of the date. But what to text a girl who you have a date with? Simple, text her what you’ll be wearing. This lets her know that the date is still on while also giving her an easy out if she doesn’t want to show up. 

In addition, this will also tell you if she plans on showing up. If she doesn’t respond then she’s probably not going to show up to the date. I have yet to be proven wrong on this even once, though I’m sure exceptions do exist. 

The other exception to texting before the date is if you had to set up the date out longer than just a few days. If the date is set up 3-4 days or longer in advance, then you’ll need to text her before the day of the date. This sets her mind at ease and lets her know that you are still interested in her. 

First Date Texting:

On the day of the date, again, just text her what you’ll be wearing. Feel free to throw in an emoji if you want if it fits your style. I like this because it will help her find you easier if she’s forgotten your face, though there are other options, just make sure to keep it chill and relaxed. You don’t want a conversation here, you just want to reassure her that you plan on showing up. You can even do something as simple as “see you later today”. This is
one of the few times you’ll want to purposely violate the first rule of texting.

For the in-between text (before the day of the date), just text her something simple. I prefer memes because women don’t have to respond to them and they still accomplish the mission. They let her know that I’m still interested. But also, because women don’t have to respond to them (though if they’re interested they’ll frequently text back an lol at the minimum) it makes it difficult to get into a conversation. 

Why is this a good thing?

Because getting into a big long conversation before the date itself robs you of your mystery as well as drags you into the one of the deadly sins of texting.

What do I mean by that?

Women love mystery. They like not knowing about you yet, it makes things more exciting for them. In addition, if they already know a ton about you then it will make you boring. It takes away her excitement for you, makes her bored and even takes away the reason for going on the date in the first place: to learn more about you. 

If you don’t want to text her a meme, that’s fine, just follow the rules of: 

  1. Simple
  2. Makes it hard to get into a conversation
  3. Lets her know that you’re still into her (which basically any text will do just that)

What to Text After A First Date (if no sex)

You’ll want to wait until the next day after the first date to contact her. Want more information about getting women attracted to you on a first date? Then check out this article.

Or if she reaches out to you, whichever happens first. 

What to Text a Girl You Haven’t Been With Yet

As for what to text her, you’ll want to mention something that you talked about on the first date in your first text message. 

This brings her back into the date and how great of a time she had with you. It helps bring back those feelings she had while around you. 

It will also help break the ice for what you really want to accomplish with this text message; set up the next date. But you have to ease into it. 

You can’t just text her out of the blue: hey let’s go on another date. 

That’s a little too much for women. 

So instead, you’ll want to mention something you talked about on the first date as a kind of icebreaker. Beyond that, you can text about almost anything. Within reason, of course. You don’t want to break the ice talking about a gangbang or anything like that, even if you did talk about it during the date (jokes are fine if she will laugh, which depends on the girl). 

After she responds you’ll want to swiftly move into setting up the next date. You can ask her about her schedule if you prefer, or go straight into the date proposal the same way I advise you to with online dating. 

Though if you feel like she liked you enough to have sex with you on the first date, but for whatever reason you couldn’t make it happen (like you had an appointment or she did that prevented you even trying) then you can be more direct. 

You can be more direct and say something to the effect of: hey, the other day was fun. Let’s say we keep the ball rolling, when are you free? 

For this you’ll have to feel it out. But in addition, if you are going the direct route because you think she would have had sex with you if you went for it you’ll want to text her the next day. If she’s already that into you time is against you. 

After The Second Date (if you still haven’t had sex)

The next day.

What to Text Her

I advise you to go a little more direct, like the example above. 

After First Time Sex

The next day (or if it was early in the day text her later that night). 

What to Text a Girl You Had First Time Sex With

You’ll want to be a little nice here and text her something simple like: “Hey, had fun last night/earlier today. Hope you weren’t too tired for your *whatever she talked about doing here*.” 

After she responds, set up the next date. 

After You’ve Had Sex With Her on Multiple Occasions and She’s Become a Regular

Pretty much whenever you want, though you don’t want to be too available. You’ve also got a lot more options about what to text her here as well. 

This subject demands a post all on its own, so I’ll leave it here with that. However, the texting sins that I go into detail about here still apply. The texting sins book is filled with mistakes I see other guys make and I used to make that will murder your chances with women. It’s a short book for only 3 dollars. Get it here so that women will stop ignoring your texts and start going out on dates with you.

In the mean time though, are you having any problems in your own life with women? If you are then leave a comment so we can work on it together 🙂

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