This is a chapter from “Warning: Are You Committing One Of These Deadly Texting Sins?” (get it for only three dollars here). When texting a girl, it’s agonizing when she doesn’t text back.
We’ve all been there and it’s tediously tormenting in how annoying it can be.
Let’s take a look at one of the chapters on how to avoid that nonsense of agonizing over if she doesn’t text back for days, or if a girl doesn’t text back at all!
Texting a Girl Too Much:
Texting a girl too much and being too available is by far the deadliest common mistake guys make.
Fixing this one simple menacing mistake will get you more women guaranteed because you won’t be scaring them all off! Seriously, if you can avoid this then you won’t be asking yourself “why didn’t she text back” nearly as often.
What Women Want
Remember that women want someone who is their equal or better (don’t you?) When guys start texting a girl too much and too often they communicate that they have nothing better to do in their life but talk to her.
This is weak behavior that you should ruthlessly rip out of your life if you want to more women in your life!
Because this stupendously serious sin tells her, whether true or not, that she is better than whoever is constantly texting her. That he doesn’t have anything going on in his life (wouldn’t you prefer a woman who has her life together?)
This absolutely MURDERS her attraction for the over texter. It makes her second guess herself and then she tells herself “I must have been wrong, this guy’s not so attractive after all”. Then the guy runs off to Google search “what to do when a girl doesn’t text back”.
When A Girl Doesn’t Text Back
And then a text message gets ignored.
Then ignored again.
Then finally, after texting a girl for the umpteenth time a guy will get a response that says that she’s been busy, but life will calm down soon.
A. Big. Fat. Lie.
Nobody’s that busy… especially if she doesn’t text back for days at a time.
If she likes you she will make time for you (this is true of people in general, not just women). We’re all busy and we all have shit that needs to be done yesterday.
It’s all about priorities.
If a woman ignores a guy through text then she is telling that guy that he is not a priority to him and the she should no longer be a priority for him either. And it could be because he’s been texting a girl too much and now she doesn’t like him anymore.
My Example
I’ve had girlfriends who were part time models, played in orchestras during the holidays and still worked a 40 to 50-hour work week on top of hobbies and having a social life.
Some even worked 80+ hours a week!
They still made time for me and rarely, if ever, ignored my text messages.
That doesn’t mean that I didn’t have to wait for a response, but they always got back to me and that’s a trend that continues to this day.
Want to Know The Secret?
Don’t date or pay attention to women who don’t make you a priority in their life. Only date women that respond to you. Then you’ll never have to ask yourself why she didn’t text back. When a girl doesn’t text back and keeps ignoring you, instead of asking “should I text her” just assume that she’s no longer interested.
Sometimes if you do this you’ll be wrong and she’ll text you first! Other times she may have something happen in her life and ask herself “huh, I wonder what, what’s-his-name is up to? I’d better text him and find out”. But at the very least you won’t scare women away by texting a girl too much!
Because if you do this one thing (it’s simple though sometimes excruciatingly difficult, then you won’t be getting ignored anymore.
And when you’re trying to text up a hottie and she ignores you then delete her and move on!
- Common Sense Disclaimer: obviously if this only happens once then it’s no big deal. Only delete women if it becomes a trend. Create a personal rule for yourself of when you will delete women and forget about them. I’ve got my personal rules, and one of them is this (though there are always going to be exceptions to any rule, again, common sense):
- If a woman declines a first or second date without trying to schedule a different time, then I delete her and move on
Texting a Woman: What You Should Indirectly Communicate:
That you have a life outside of her.
Now, obviously you can’t come out and tell her this. That’s retarded.
Instead, you do this by not texting her back two milliseconds after she texts you (though if you are in a conversation then that’s an exception).
And if you fill your life with hobbies, friends or even a purpose that fills you with an unstoppable passion, you’re going to do this by accident.
This is because when texting a girl you like, it’s the things that you don’t do or say that have the biggest impact (also because it’s easy to lie like some guys do).
Texting a Girl You Like Disclaimer:
Not texting back immediately isn’t going to take a girl from interested in you to craving for you to fill her up and have your babies.
However, texting back immediately every time will take a wet woman and dry her out like the desert and send you into the ignore zone. The same thing will happen if you commit the horrendous sin of being boring.
What Kind of Boost Can You Expect?
But what kind of boost can you count on?
Honestly, not much of one.
Instead, this is a bloodcurdling blunder to avoid in order to keep her attracted to you. But, it will give you a small brilliant boost in how attracted to you she is.
The reason?
Because she will wonder about you. She will start to think about what you’re up to, what kind of life you’re living and who you’re enjoying it with. Which is the very definition of her emotionally investing in you.
What is Emotional Investment and Why is it Such an Amazing Thing?
The best way to talk about emotional investment is in the form of a famous example. It goes like this:
Say that you really want a Ferrari.
You stay up all night thinking about Ferrari’s and it’s the only thing that you want in life.
Because you want this Ferrari, you get a high paying job and work for a few years saving up. The entire time you’re thinking about this amazing car, the features, how cool you’ll look driving it and what color you’ll get.
You might even think of snarky Steve in the cubicle over, how jealous he will be after you get this car. And the girls! Oh my god the girls are going to love it! They’re going to love you!
You’ve got a calendar filled with nothing but pictures of Ferrari’s and you look at them daily.
Finally!The day comes when you have enough saved up and you pay for a Ferrari in cash. You have no debt and you own it. It’s yours.
On the way home you may even spill some coffee on the dash because you’re so excited. But you don’t care because this car is finally yours!
But when you get home there’s another Ferrari sitting outside of your house.
What the heck?Why is there another Ferrari outside of your house?
It turns out that you forgot that you entered a drawing to win a free Ferrari and you won! You now have two Ferrari’s!
Congratulations!
But you don’t need two… which one do you think you will keep? Which one will you sell?
Is it the one that you spent so much time thinking about, pining over and working for, for so long? Or is it the one that somebody just gave to you because you got lucky?
Of course it’s the one that you worked for because you’ve already put so much more into it!
Sure, it has that coffee stain, but that coffee stain is a symbol of your hard work.
There’s no emotion in the other one. This is what [emotional] investment is. It’s what you put into something. It’s what you invest in someone/something emotionally.
Be The Ferrari
You want to be the Ferrari that women put effort and investment in, not the free one.
The free Ferrari gets sold off while she rides off into the sunset with the Ferrari that she had to work for a little bit (pun possibly intended).
We all appreciate what we work for more than what is given to us. And it’s true of all of us.
What Investment Means for Your Dating Life
Another way to think about it is in the form of a memory. A memory that everyone I’ve talked to has had happen to them, as for when it comes to women.
You meet this girl and man… she’s spellbindingly gorgeous. But she’s not just hot she’s also smart, and kind and the way she moves those hips… it’s hypnotic.
She’s the one.
You’re sure of it.
You’re so sure of it that you think about her all the time. Maybe you even think about what kind of marriage you’ll have. How you’ll kiss her after saying ‘I do’.
But then nothing happens.
Maybe you make your move and she shuts you down or maybe she gets a boyfriend or becomes too busy.
It’s not the right time after all… but then the right time never seems to come around…
The end result is the same though, you never get her.
That was the power of investment in its cruelest form.
What Does This Have to Do With Texting a Girl?
When a guy constantly texts her or answer her texts immediately while she takes hours to respond then he’s the free Ferrari that gets brutally thrown away when a better Ferrari comes along.
Meanwhile he elevates her to the Ferrari that he has to work his ass off to get.
Is the Ferrari with a coffee stain better than the free one?
Nope.
But it seems like it is, and people are weird in that they will justify why that’s the case after they’ve made their decision. We all do it. We make decisions emotionally and justify them with logic later.
When a guy is non-stop texting a girl then not only is he shooting himself in the foot with her but he’s also stealing her chance to pine over him. He is frantically slaughtering the chance for her to think that she’s met her Prince Charming.
It sounds corny, but this is what happens. And it’s his fault in the end.
He may not understand it’s his fault (I certainly didn’t long ago) but it is. And this is something that almost universally, every guy can relate to.
Let’s make sure that it doesn’t happen between you and your dream girl.
Then Should I Text Her Or Not?
Does this mean that you can never reach out and initiate text messages?
No, it absolutely does not.
Because that would be the other extreme and neither extreme will lead to wet women (though one is better than the other).
A few good rules for your thumbs (and keep in mind that these situations can change in seconds):
- If she’s texting you a lot it’s okay to text her more often
- If she answers your texts immediately then it’s okay to text her back a little quicker than you normally would
- Or more easily remembered; copy her
- Mirror her actions and as a beginner you’ll do just fine. As you get a more attractive life you’ll naturally progress to intermediate and then advanced with this completely by accident. But before that happens you’ll want to mirror what she does
- If she doesn’t reach out to text you very often then you’ll want to reach out at most once a week
- This is a slight difference from copying what she does. The reason is because as the man it’s still your job to make something happen and you can’t make something happen by waiting on her to text you
- Don’t forget the 10:00 rule. Unless the woman is smitten with you (and if she’s smitten with you then you can toss a lot of rules out the window) you shouldn’t text her between the hours of 10:00 P.M. and 10:00 A.M.
- Why?
- Because after 10:00 P.M. she shouldn’t know that you’re bored on your laptop eating Cheetos. Remember that you want to appear like you have a great life and most people have stuff to do after 10, whether that involves sleeping to get up early to work or just hanging out with people or having sex with other women!
- But why not before 10:00 A.M.? Is it because it’s catchy to call it the 10:00 rule?
- No (although I think it’s catchy), this is because you want to make sure that the woman has woken up already and at least started her day
- Most people are going to be up and around and had their cup of coffee by 10. If you text her before 10 then you run the risk of her feeling like shit after waking up and then ignoring you because of her foul morning mood
- Then no matter how much she liked you before you start to become the guy that she ignores, not even on purpose at first
And you don’t want to text her back immediately every time she texts you.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of hearing that beautiful jingle lighting up your phone and to scoop it up and reply right away.
This comes back again to wanting to demonstrate to her that you are her equal or better. You need to demonstrate to her that you have a life of your own and that she isn’t the center of it.
After all, are you living your life for you or for other people? Because living your life for you is attractive to everybody and demands respect.
You want to communicate that you have friends, hobbies and even other women in your own life. Even if you don’t yet, you will soon. I’m here to help you get this achievement under your belt. But before that, you need to fake it till you make it.
This is one of the most frightening offenders of texting a girl that men make that costs them women! Just avoiding this monstrous mistake will increase the amount of women that go out on dates with you!
Finally, get the full book here to start going on more dates and stop having as many women ghost you. It’s only three dollars.
Until next time,
-Alexander