You’ve sent that first message after getting a match with her and everything’s still so new and exciting. You might even feel some wonderful emotions bubbling up to the surface. Which is a great thing! It’s awesome to be excited about your dating life!
But we’re not out of the woods yet. Because there are a ton of things that most guys will do to ruin their chances with women. Luckily, we’re going to cover a few of them here so that you don’t make those same mistakes! But one thing you’ll realize as you read and learn is that at the core of all of these mistakes is this: you are strangers to each other right now. Even less than strangers, actually.
You’re less than strangers because there’s a certain level of politeness expected of people when they meet in person. But online, there’s no such etiquette required and people can and will be rude. You’ve likely seen this for yourself on just about any comment section on YouTube! As long as you remember that you don’t owe each other anything you’ll approach online dating far differently and with more success than most men.
The reason for this is because women have far more choice than the typical man on Tinder.
A quick note before getting started: these are pulled straight from my course on How to Get Laid on Tinder. What’s on here isn’t everything and if you’re learning a lot then definitely check out the entire course. It’s by far the BEST thing on the internet about how to go on more dates and get laid on Tinder from before you take your pictures all the way to when you set up the date. As someone who has bought nearly everything out there I can say that there’s nothing out there better than this.
Having said that, let’s get to the mistakes!
The First Message Mistake: Being Boring
Whenever I hear a woman complain about men messaging them I always get a special smile in my heart and you should too. Because these men set the bar so incredibly low for you that it’s easy to shatter their expectations and wow them!
Most men will send a woman a message like this:
- What’s up?
- You’re beautiful
These messages are all BORING!
The biggest reason that none of these messages work is because they force the girl to do one of two things:
- Carry the conversation
- Ignore the guy
And most women are going to ignore the guy. The reason is because as men, it’s our job to lead the conversation (which I will show you exactly how to do, step-by-step later in the course). Women don’t want to lead men, women want to be led. Because it’s easier for them to follow and it’s their natural role. A woman who has to lead her man is a woman who is more dominant in the relationship and that’s boring to her (click here to learn how to become more dominant). It’s also exhausting.
And if you don’t believe me go to Bumble and try it out for yourself. Bumble is an app much like Tinder. Except the biggest difference is that in Bumble it’s the job of the woman to message the men. Which would be fine except that most women don’t really understand how to lead a conversation. And 90+% of the messages you’ll get are, quite frankly, boring. The other part of that is if you message back what they message to you (something like ‘hi’) then she’s extremely unlikely to message you back and keep it going. Or if she does it’ll be something like “How are you?” and if you don’t take control from there the chances of her messaging further plummet even further.
Therefore, it’s your job to carry the conversation.
In the last email we went over how to create an awesome first message for a woman so you shouldn’t have the same kind of issues that most guys will have. But still, this is the first thing we’re going to cover because it’s the most important.
Second Message Mistake: Making It Difficult
This ties into the above reason a little bit but deserves its own spot. Don’t make it hard to respond to you!
All of your messages should make it as easy as possible to respond back to you. That means giving her a reason to respond. Ask a question to keep the conversation rolling. There are other ways to keep it going, some of which we’ll cover in the course, but this is one of the easiest.
But another caveat to this rule is to not write out super-long messages. You have to make it easy for her to read your message as well as easy to respond to. If she finds the message overwhelming to read then she’s just not going to do it. The same is true if she reads the message and can’t figure out how to respond to it.
Therefore, keep it short.
The only time that you can write a longer message is if she writes a longer message to you first. Then it becomes important that you yourself write out a longer message. Still, you don’t want to go overboard with it. You’ll still need to follow the golden rule of texting: keep your messages about as long as hers.
Again; if you send a wall of text to a simple sentence of hers she will find it overwhelming to read and respond to. It’s too difficult. But on the other hand if she writes out a wall to you and then you respond with only a sentence she’s going to have an “oh crap” moment. She’s going to assume that she’s WAY more into you than you are into her. And that’s going to make her feel stupid.
It might sound cool to have a woman more invested in you than you are into her, which it can be, but it’s not right now. Because remember: you’re still strangers at this point in time. Until you meet in person you’re strangers to each other.
Women have a ton of other options and it’s become insanely easy to just move onto the next guy. It sucks and it’s not truly fair but that’s how it is. Therefore it’s up to the smart men to take advantage of these little quirks in the dating game. Once you do you start to not care about them as much anymore and actually enjoy them.
Because they give you an advantage other men don’t have. Then it becomes unfair FOR you instead of against you.
Third Message Mistake: Don’t Ignore Her
Whenever a woman asks a question of you; don’t ignore it. Go ahead and answer it.
There are actually some people out there that tell guys to ignore her and it’s silly advice taken out of context.
If you’re already dating, or at least further into the dating process then sure, sometimes ignoring women can work. But definitely not during the online dating process.
Remember, women are drowning in options on Tinder and online dating. Plus, you’re still strangers. These are things that cannot be stressed enough! If you ignore a woman on Tinder then she’s not going to become more interested in you. She’s going to forget about you.
Therefore, if a woman messages you then answer it! I’m not telling you to drop everything and message her but do get back to her within a few hours maximum.
But this advice also extends to whatever she says as well. If she asks you a question then answer the question before moving on in your messaging system. Which, by now you’ve probably, quickly and naturally started to understand that you’ll learn everything about creating your own messaging system that works within the course (click here to go to it).
That’s it for today! The last email’s tip was a little long and I don’t want to overwhelm anyone.
But that’s not the only thing that I plan on giving you so definitely keep an eye out for the next email!
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