How to Tease A Girl: Quick Tip Thursday6 minute read

I saw a couple on a date the other day where the guy completely and totally SCREWS himself in the end because he didn’t know how to tease her properly. He does it by crossing a line in how to tease a girl, something we’re going to cover so that you learn how to flirt with women so that they like you instead of doing what she does…

As I was wrapping my hands around my cup of hot tea, smelling the minty freshness to start my day I couldn’t help but overhear a guy make a comment to a girl, let’s call her Pam and him Jim. Jim was teasing Pam and she was into it. Seeing Pam’s reaction triggered an immense amount of curiosity in me because I love to people-watch and needed to see how it would end. As I sat down he made another comment which caused her to laugh, scoot closer to him and caused me to become hopeful that it was going to end with a bang for him. And a bang it was…

“The Office” Romance: Why Don’t Girls Like Me

Pam was all over Jim when I sat down, and even hinted a few times about how they should leave. But for some reason, Jim kept cracking jokes. Granted, Jim was hilarious and had learned a little about how to tease her. I’ll even admit that it was difficult for me to keep from busting my gut like a creepy eavesdropper right there in the coffee shop!

Just look at that evil smile…

But that was when Jim committed the ultimate sin of teasing…

You have some beautiful eyes by the way. They’re like a cute Chinese kid I saw in the Special Olympics!

Her reaction made me feel sorry for the guy and it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. It’s devastatingly horrible, but at the same time you can’t look away. This is what happens when you don’t learn how to tease her properly to like you instead of turning her into a vengeance seeking psychopath.

She rocketed up like she’d been bitten in the behind and yelled that she didn’t have control over the way her eyes looked, picked up her coffee and threw it in the poor guy’s face!


Poor Jim probably went home that night wondering “why don’t girls like me?” or even what to say to a girl so that they’ll like him more…

What to Say to A Girl:

Jim insulted Pam.

And that’s the first mistake when learning how to tease a girl: don’t insult people. Insulting people leaves you wondering “why don’t girls like me”.

When teasing a girl, try to build her up instead of tearing her down. Sure, telling someone that you love what they did with their hair because it looks like a pack of wolves had it out for leadership on top of their head is hilarious. But it still stings (credit to Chase from GirlsChase for that joke).

Think about it like this: remember a time someone made a mean spirited joke at your expense? It can be funny and in good spirit, but it can still hurt. So when learning how to tease her, keep this in mind because it’ll help you avoid the mistakes other men make and leave them thinking “girls don’t like me”.

How to Flirt With Women Basics:

When there’s a special girl you like and want to tease her; remember these basic rules:

  • Insulting people leaves men confused and asking why “girls don’t like me”
  • When teasing her, tease her about her strengths, or in a way that builds her up
  • Compliment a girl before teasing her
  • Some self-deprecation is okay when you want to crack a joke and are wondering what to say to a girl

Accidentally Insulting People

It’s easy to accidentally insult people when you’re learning how to flirt with a woman. Once you’ve gotten to know someone and become friends (or more) the rules about what’s acceptable vary a bit.

But before you reach that stage, try to steer clear of these when learning how to flirt with women:

  • Avoid teasing a girl about things she cannot change, like her physical features
  • Unless you want to hurt someone ask lament about “why don’t women like me”, don’t tease her about her insecurities or anything she isn’t confident in
  • In general, avoid teasing a girl about her identity
    • Meaning whatever’s important to them

Because we’ve both had an experience where people have teased us in a way that isn’t in good fun. You’ll notice that it’s actually harmful and builds resentment. Obviously, we don’t want that happening to the people around us (and if it’s happening to you then check out this article to start commanding respect and cut that crap out).

Tease Her Positively

One way to learn how to flirt with a woman is to build her up as you do it. Tease her about things she knows she’s great at. But be careful about how you say it and don’t be afraid to go over the top with your tonality and body language. You can even use a range of the three different tonalities to add emphasis, mentioned here (and will show you a cool psychological hack that allows you to introduce yourself in a powerful, attractive way).

For example, say you have a friend who’s always getting compliments about how she’s dressed:

Yeah that’s Ashley, she can’t dress herself to save her life

If she’s always getting compliments and knows how to dress sharp, then it’s obvious you’re joking. And you call out her strength in an absurd way while still teasing her. In a way, you’re complimenting your friend, which leads us to…

Managing Her Emotions While Teasing a Girl

Whenever you meet someone for the first time, be careful about teasing them right away. One way on how to tease a girl later on is to first compliment her before you start teasing her (but not 10 seconds before teasing them, that’s weird).

When you compliment first, tease second you show people that you like them and teasing is part of your character. If you were to start with teasing a girl right out of the gate, most people will assume you’re an asshole. And not the fun kind. Those kinds of assholes definitely ask themselves “why girls don’t like me”.

But there’s another way that you can have fun when learning how to tease a girl while not insulting her:

Self-Deprecation to Seduce Women

Self-deprecation’s wonderful at softening your teasing like a midsummer’s day will do to butter. Because it puts you on the same level as other people. Whenever you self-deprecate you show people that it’s nothing personal when you tease them because you tease yourself too (be careful if people start outright disrespecting you though, check out this article for how to stand up for yourself if that happens).

Basically, nobody’s off-limits and it’s a part of you. Furthermore, it showcases that it’s not a big deal to you and that allows people to relax whenever you tease them and even join the fun.

As long as you don’t become ‘that guy‘ who always makes fun of himself so other people won’t. That means:

  • Follow the above rules: don’t tease yourself about things you’re insecure about
    • We’ve been around an awkward person who always makes fun of their weight or another insecurity and it makes us feel awkward (and I bet he’s asked you or someone else “why don’t women like me”)
  • Self-deprecation is like a powerful spice: sprinkle it in for the best results. It’s easy to go overboard

That’s it for this quick-tip-Thursday, but if you’d like more, check out this awesome video by Charisma on Command on how Ryan Reynolds uses sarcasm (without being a jerk).

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