- Note: This is a part 2/2 on how to build discipline. You can find part 1 here. Then there is the list post that started this short series and dives into exploiting the Law of Attraction here.
You’ve got a goal in mind and maybe even a vague idea (or perhaps you’ve already researched the hell out of an) on how to make it happen. All that’s left is to execute. But how do you build good habits and make sure you complete the mission that you’ve set out to do for yourself?
That’s what we’re going to explore today. In part 1 we looked at how to build discipline and start good habits to reach your goals. Today we’re going to dive into how some tactics to exploit the power of those budding habits to make sure they stick.
That way, you can crush your goals and get moving on your path to success.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle Tweet ThisVisualize to Strengthen Your Resolve
Visualization is one of the best habits that you can do for your life. And I don’t mean that in some “universe will provide” way.
Not at all. Could something like that actually be happening? Possibly, I don’t know.
But what I do know is this: visualizing your way to success does a myriad of things for you.
It will…
- Help take a vague idea of success and turn it into a concrete plan
- Forces your brain to pay attention to what it is that you want
- It implants ‘false memories’ into your brain that gives you better reference points
- Removes uncertainty, fear and doubt
Let’s take a quick look at these in more depth:
From a Vague Idea Into a Concrete Plan
Basically, because you’re focusing on what will actually happen you have to have it planned out. You have to understand exactly what you’re going to do and exactly what is going to happen.
I’ll give you my own personal example, one of my habits that’s been driving me lately:
My Visualization
Standing in my room with my book in my hand and my tea at my side I can’t help but admire the beauty outside of my window. This place has such a beautiful view that I had to have it, even though it was a little more than my budget allowed.
Oh well, just more motivation to work harder.
It’s a beautiful evening to finish off a wonderful, warm and windy day, just the way that I love it.
Slowly I close my eyes and allow the warmth of the world to fill my lungs, breathing in as deeply as possible. There’s a hint of some candles burning in anticipation of what’s about to happen.
Then I hear it in the background, the slow and faint trickle of water coming from my humidifier. Turning towards it I can’t help but smile as I feel a surge of calmness and serenity as I look at it.
Deciding it’s time, I put down my book and go to get dressed. Opening up my closet I spot my favorite suit, the suit of the dancing event I’ll be attending later. It’s a smooth, dark red masterpiece. Jacket, pants and vest. No tie though, I hate ties.
I’ve always loved vests though, and this one has a slick, subtle floral design in black covering the front. It’s faint, but once you notice it you can’t help but get sucked into the intricacies of the design. It’s an easy conversation starter with just about anyone and I get complimented on it constantly.
In addition, I have to add my favorite pocket watch to the outfit, because no vest is complete without a pocket watch.
But the shirt, the shirt is a crisp and solid black to lay underneath the suit adding a delightful and seductive contrast.
It’s so soft as I slip into it. Looking into the mirror I hear a buzzing on my phone. It’s a text on my phone: “I can’t wait to devour you soon. I’m on my way”
After a few more minutes of getting ready there’s the knock at the door. It’s her.
Walking over I can feel my heart speed up a little bit. We’ve been seeing each other for a while but this one isn’t just a fuck buddy. No, she’s smart as well as beautiful. Someone who’s strong and ready to help me take on the world.
I’m looking forward to seeing her tonight, she’s been asking a lot about me teaching her how to dance and tonight is the night. I love dancing and to have a consistent and intimate partner adds a sensuality to the entire affair that I can’t help but get sucked into the fantasy. A fantasy of our own creation.
All of this runs through my mind as I start reaching for the door handle to open it.
The door swings open and there she is.
Stunning.
She looks almost exactly like Jennifer Lawrence and is absolutely breathtaking in her red dress. I can’t help but find myself drinking the sight of her in. She does the same before walking into me and…
You get the idea. We end up late to the dancing event 😉
How to Visualize
Those are the elements of a great visualization. It’s specific, and exactly what I want to happen.
Furthermore it includes more than just sights, it includes all of our senses: hearing (the water), touch (the clothes and the temperature), smell (candles) as well as the emotions that I will feel in the moment.
Lastly, what makes it a great visualization is that it’s something that I can get.
I’m working on this stuff to get the money side of things handled, and I can always upgrade my charisma and charm a little more until I meet someone that looks like Jennifer Lawrence. Then all I have to do is keep going out until I meet her and etc.
And those are the first two steps of a great visualization: it’s what you want, and it’s unbelievably specific.
If you want to get more into exactly how to visualize, then check out this great post by GirlsChase. It goes over everything about visualization in more depth than we will here.
However, there is one more point that we need to cover here: and that’s the part about visualizing overcoming obstacles.
Whatever your goals are, try to build your visualization habits and think about the roadblocks that will inevitably happen along the way.
If you’re trying to get better with women, the big one will be the numerous tests she will throw up your way (part of the dance). Then of course you have to start a conversation and lead all the way through the entire seduction. While also paying attention to where she’s at throughout the entire affair, making sure when she’s ready for which step and etc. etc.
With business, you’ll need your plan on how you’ll bring in customers. How you will lead them through a sales funnel to eventually close. You’ll need to think about what kind of value you want to bring to people, both free and paid.
In the world of health, there’s all the pitfalls of your diet. What will you do when you have a craving? How will you avoid them? You’ll also need to think about overcoming the physical challenges of whatever exercise regiment you’re planning on doing.
Removing Fear, Doubt and Uncertainty
Because the brain cannot distinguish between false memories and real ones you will have basically fooled your brain (anyone remember Inception?) When you have memories (false or not) of success and things going well for you it helps build your confidence.
And because you’ve “done” something a thousand times it helps you get over the initial roadblocks of fear. You will have more certainty because you have a little more experience with doing whatever it is that you’re trying to do.
When building your habits, visualization does so many great things for you.
Not just all of the above, but I find it incredibly motivating as well. Because if I want my visualization to come to fruition then I have to keep working towards it. No matter the frustrations that get in my way.
It’s the same for you.
Rock Lee’s Guide for Great Habits
If you’ve ever watched the anime “Naruto” you will no doubt be familiar with Rock Lee.
His character was inspired by Bruce Lee. He’s also the character without any talent whatsoever that some of the other characters are blessed with.
Yet, he still earns his spot among his peers.
How does he do this?
His outlandish discipline and work ethic.
But the aspect of his work ethic that we will go over is one of his rules.
Basically, he sets a rule that if he cannot do X number of exercise then he will do Y number of a different exercise.
In action (and keep in mind these are impossible anime numbers), it looks like this: “If I cannot do 2,000 push-ups then I will do 2,000 kicks!”
When forming our own habits, we can take this same training approach to just about anything. Just make sure that it’s something under your control.
For example, a good way to approach this is: if I cannot approach three beautiful women today then I will have to approach five tomorrow.
A bad way to approach this: if I cannot get three phone numbers today then I will get five tomorrow.
Why the difference?
Because while you can influence the bad example you cannot control it. You can, however, control your actions.
The same is true of business. You cannot control getting clients, though you can influence it. But you can control your actions that put you in a good position to get those clients.
Take the spirit of this rule and apply to your own life. Not only is it something to constantly strive for in the name of self-improvement but it’s also a little fun competing with yourself.
And it also motivates you to track your progress, which is important.
Just don’t take this to the other extreme. For example; say you set out to do X number of sales calls. What if on that first sales call the person wants to buy from you, but it will take all the time you set aside to do those calls?
Please don’t throw away the sale just to complete the sales call numbers. While it’s great for building our habits, doing it this way is terrible. Because the goal of these habits is to get us those successes. What’s the point of doing them if we throw away a great possible result just to stick to the number of whatever we’re doing?
The same applies to women and to a lesser extent; exercising. Just be smart and safe out there. Remember your goals.
Reward Yourself For Your Habits
If you set these goals for yourself and accomplish them then you should reward yourself for your hard work! There’s a wide range of things that you can do, as long as they don’t kill your long term success (which means occasionally indulging in junk food even if you’re trying to lose weight).
With women and business, you won’t succeed every time and that’s alright. It would have been incredibly rewarding had you succeeded but you still need to reward yourself for your habits if you don’t reach the goal every time.
That way, your reward is also within your control. If you don’t get the sale or a date with a woman go do something fun for yourself. You set out to put yourself in a winning position and that’s commendable! You’re already doing more than 90+% of the rest of the population! Awesome!
Speaking of Rewards…
Speaking of rewarding yourself for great habits, try to find a supportive friend group. Even better, try to find a group of people who have their own goals they’re trying to do and become friends with them.
It’s best if they have those same goals so you can work together and even compete a little bit. But if they’re not the same goals it’s no big deal.
The reason is because it’s incredibly difficult to set out to do something without support. Though no support is better than anti-support, it’s still far inferior of surrounding yourself with supportive people.
Because these people are the people who are going to help pull you back up when you fail and fall. They’re also the people that you’ll do the same thing for.
In short, it’s your tribe of people where you’re all in it together. Even better than one group, are multiple groups. And if you set one of them up right, you can even set one up to help you meet more women! Something Nick Notas goes over in the above article.
My personal recommendation is to find at least one coed group and one group that is only men. Because they will be able to give you different things, and I go into this more here.
But even better than a supportive group? Are role models.
People who have already gone through what you’re going through and gotten what you want for yourself. They will understand your process better than anyone because they’ve already gone through it.
The challenges that you will face they will have already faced in one form or another.
Which includes your sticking points, where it feels like no matter what you do you can’t seem to go any further. Yup, they’ve been there as well.
These types of people are immeasurably valuable. And they can help give you the shortcuts that they had to find the hard way. Shortcuts that could possibly take you years to figure out yourself.
In a way, role models can help give you more time. More time to enjoy the benefits of figuring something out yourself. Less time spent on the annoying parts of trying to do whatever it is that you’re trying to do. Less headaches, more success.
What would you do with more years of success?
It doesn’t have to be me, but find a role model that has already achieved what you want to achieve. Someone who has a similar personality to you. It’s the entire reason that I created this list!
Just be willing to test their advice to see what works best for you. Because not everything they do will work for you and vice versa. Which leads us to the next part of building great habits:
Understand Your Weaknesses
For example; I have a huge sweet tooth. But I also want a better body, which means that I should eat fewer sweets.
A conflict of interests of outlandish proportions… at least to me. This is awful.
In order to combat this weakness of mine and get the goals that I want I’ve had to adjust my life a little bit.
To do this I’ve done the following things:
- I don’t keep sweets around me
- This means that I would have to go get whatever it is that I want, which is often a pain and not worth it
- Understand that a lot of my bigger cravings happen when I’m hungry
- Therefore, the rule that I created here was that I couldn’t indulge until I’ve eaten something. After that, I can indulge if I still want to. Oftentimes I don’t want to but other times I’ll have a little bit (much less than what I wanted to originally or used to have before figuring this out)
Very simple habits with big results! I’m still not exactly where I want to be but I’ll get there.
For you, there’s not a lot of advice I can give to you other than try to observe yourself. Whenever you fall of the wagon towards whatever goals you have, try to figure out why.
With women, it happens a lot of times because of fear. In which case there’s the infamous “3-second rule“. It helps a lot of people and it may help you (can also be used for just about anything).
When it comes to hitting the gym or the business it could be laziness (in which case check out part 1, linked here again for easy access). Or it could be any number of other things
Including something Ryan over on Order of Man calls The Drift. It’s a groovy article that can help us understand why we fail to stick to our habits.
Whenever you fail, try to figure out why. It’s okay that you didn’t stick to your plan 100%, nobody ever does. Not even the people who eventually reach their goals.
Just try to figure out what happened and why it happened, then adjust for the future 🙂
And don’t forget:
Keep Moving Forward
-Alexander
Habits Re-Cap:
