Day 1: What Being Unconfident is Costing You

Robert Greene ~ Law 34: Be Royal in Your Own Fashion – Act Like a King to Be Treated Like One

Why Confidence Is Helpful

Imagine this: you’re in a drafty, uninviting room of a hospital, sitting on the bed. Waiting on the Doctor to prepare you for an upcoming surgery. As you look out the window in boredom you see that it looks like winter’s come early. 

It’s not the biggest surgery in the world, but you still have this heavy weight in your chest, making it hard to breathe at times. You can’t help but be a little anxious about it while waiting. All while hoping that a nurse or doctor, anybody is going to come and reassure you. Everything’s going to be fine, you keep telling yourself but there’s that small part of you that keeps worrying about it.   

Then you hear it… the door creaks open and your heart starts beating faster. Finally, everything’s going to be fine. 

But then when the doctor finally walks in you immediately notice his slumped and closed-off shoulders, almost like he’s carrying a 50-pound weight on his back. His eyes weakly looking down and unable to make eye contact with you until the door is fully closed. Why can’t he make eye contact, you wonder? It’s supposed to be a small surgery, nothing major so why does he look so… unconfident? 

In this hypothetical situation he could be the best of the best of the best. But in this situation, and really picture it, how comfortable are you with someone like this? 

Does this doctor in our story inspire you to trust him? 

Absolutely not! 

But luckily, not everything’s so life or death in this world. We have many small situations where we just go through life and coming off as unconfident in ourselves rarely hurts us… or does it

How Being Unconfident Can Cost You $250,634.89

Being unconfident, you’ll notice, will hold you back in a variety of ways in your personal relationships. And even though you know being unconfident is hurting you, it’s difficult to put a number on it. You don’t know just how much confidence can bring into your life until you experience it yourself. 

So that’s why we’re going to run some numbers for how it’s hurting you financially. And the reason this easily, naturally and honestly works is because unconfident people are too afraid to risk going for what they want. It’s easier, you’ll understand, to just go with the flow rather than do something as simple as asking for the raise that you deserve for your hard work when you’re being held down by unconfidence.  

The Numbers:

According to Indeed; when asking for a raise it’s typically acceptable to ask for 10-20% more than you currently make. With information from ZipRecruiter, the average salary is around 60,000/year. Then, from BalanceCareers you can ask for a raise no more than every year, so let’s aim low and say every three years out of 45 that the average person will likely work. 

Using a compound calculator, I got these results (I did 15 years at 10% to reflect the effects of a raise every three years in a 45 year period):

An Extra $250,634.89:

When you see that kind of money, what do you imagine doing with it? 

Just reading that question you’ll notice some of the things you would like to have in your life. Maybe it’s a second home, a car or even a certain lifestyle that money like that would be able to help you achieve. Or even something as simple as your child’s college tuition. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to have some peace of mind that having that kind of extra money would bring? 

Because I can tell you if I’d known a number like that I would have started working on my confidence a long time ago. And I wouldn’t have cared what kind of workshop I would have had to buy to get an extra $250,634.89 in my pocket! 

But that’s just me, maybe you don’t care about the extra money or about the respect and admiration that being confident will bring you and you’re happy with never getting a raise at work or getting what you deserve. If you’re happy with where you’re at in life then you might as well exit out of this workshop. Because if you’re happy with everything you have in life then there’s no point in trying to squeeze more out of life.  

But for the dreamers out there who want more for their own life, who want more for their children and grandchildren and people who just want to feel stronger and better in their own skin then read on. Because we’re going to go into detail about what confidence actually is so that you can get it.  

Defining Confidence

Ultimately, conclusively and undoubtedly confidence is a tool we use to see how people measure up in any given situation or environment. 

Put simply, being able to appear confident is like telling the world “Hey, I believe in myself and you should too!” And there’s a TON that goes into showing confidence, everything from your appearance, to how you speak and your body language as well as something as simple as how you move! All things you’re going to learn through this workshop, but there are three basic pillars of confidence that we’re going to tackle together first. 

That way, you can get some quick wins before going deeper into confidence. 

And here are the three pillars of confidence that we’re going to explore in greater details over the next few days: 

  1. Competence (how good you are at any given thing or any given situation)
  2. Congruence (when your actions, beliefs and words all say the same thing)
  3. The belief that you will be okay, no matter what happens in any given situation

What You’re Going To Get From This Workshop:

First, you’ll notice while reading that list that I say “in any given situation” a lot. 

That’s because confidence can be extremely situational. You’ll notice that in some situations you feel confident and relaxed and in others you feel anxious. This is true of just about everyone, including me. 

There are times when you feel uncomfortable and others where you feel comfortable, even powerful. 

But over the next few days we’re going to dive into these pillars of confidence more in-depth and continue to grow your confidence. That way, you’re going to learn how to feel confident no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Starting with tomorrow’s overview of the three pillars and just one thing that you can do to excel in life. 

After the general overview, we’re going to cover how you can learn how to master new skills 10x faster than anyone else! That way you can gain the confidence that being truly great at something can bring you.  

But not just that, you’re going to learn about why you trust some people but don’t trust others and how you can use that to become more trustworthy yourself. And later on in the workshop, we’re going to cover how your body language plays a role and how to appear confident as well as trustworthy. 

I’m happy you’re here because you’re going to get so much out of this workshop. It’s not just an extra $250,634.89, it’s the respect you’re going to get from friends and strangers alike, it’s the deferment of people to your authority because people will look up to you. 

You’re going to learn what confidence truly is on a level that nobody else knows at the end of this workshop. And you’ll notice that when you stop and think about it, you’re going to have power and control over your own life that nobody else has when you finish this workshop. 

And all you have to do is keep an eye on your email for the next day of confidence. That way you can become as happy and content as this gorilla:

Keep Moving Forward
-Alexander